The Worst Microwave in the World

13 Oct

I had some delicious mushroom soup for lunch today, but I almost burned down the building trying to heat it up. That is because this apartment has the worst microwave in the world.

It is a combination microwave and oven. I didn’t know such a thing existed. Then again, before I moved here I had never seen a combination washer/dryer. They seem to be all about the combination appliances over here. I guess you have to when your living spaces are so small.

Anyway, I poured the soup in a bowl and put it in the microwave for three minutes. About halfway through I started hearing weird noises. I lifted up the towels hanging in front of the window to see sparks inside! Since it’s also an oven, there is a baking tray and wire rack inside. It appears you cannot microwave with the wire rack in there or bad things could happen.

But that’s not entirely why it’s the worst microwave in the world. This is:

Tell me, just by looking at these buttons, how you would microwave something for three minutes. That row of buttons is the sole control panel on the appliance. Using just those buttons you can microwave, broil (which they call “grill”), microwave and broil at the same time, bake and fry, as well as change the temperature and amount of cooking time. I laughed at the manual the apartment gave us, but now I rely on it heavily. I finally used the oven the other day, after reading through the instructions three times. Trying to cook something without the instructions is like trying to put together something from IKEA without the instructions, except instead of getting a wobbly table when you mess up, something gets blow up. I can’t figure out why they decided to do away with language on the control panel, perhaps in an effort to make it more international (like IKEA’s pictorial instructions)?

I really hope the microwave at our real apartment isn’t anything like this one.

PS–Why does Europe use military time (or whatever it’s officially called)? No one actually say’s “It’s 14 o’clock.” Maybe someday I will just know that 14:00 is 2 p.m. and 21:00 is 9 p.m., but until then I’ll be frustratingly subtracting 12.

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