I never really considered myself a klutz. A klutz is someone like Bella Swan (excuse the Twilight reference) who can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other and has trouble dancing. I don’t want to brag, but I recently scored an “A” on difficult mode of Dance Dance Revolution on my Wii. I like to think I’m quick on my feet, but lately I’ve been having a problem — I run into furniture and other stationary objects and have the bruises to prove it. It wasn’t a one time thing — “I was in a hurry and bumped my hip on the bedpost as I ran to get the phone.” No, I seem to run into my bedpost with my hip several times a month. Once one unsightly bruise heals, I manage to get another one. Sometimes I immediately notice after I do it and will add a “Seriously? Again?!” as I cry out in pain. But other times the random hip and leg bruises appear and I have no recollection of what furniture item caused them. Once I had a wicked bruise on my forehead because I hit my head on a doorway. I’m still not sure how I pulled that one off. In fact, I can’t figure out how any of these incidents happen. Am I losing my spatial/depth perception ability? I obviously know the bed is there and it’s sharp, yet my body insists on cutting it too close.
Since I’m not in London at the moment where my bed with the ridiculously pointy corners is, I thought I might be bruise-free for a little bit. Wrong. Yesterday I went to hang out with a friend. She dropped me off at my car after dinner and when getting out I hit my collar bone on her car door — that extraordinary sharp and pointy part where the side of the door meets the top. I was wearing a sweater, scarf and giant puffy coat and it still hurt like nobody’s business. The bruise hasn’t formed yet, but I can feel it growing. If you see me wearing a lot of turtlenecks this week, you’ll know why.