I have a love-hate relationship with sandwiches. For the most part, I love them. I could really go for some Panera or Jimmy John’s now. In fact, whenever I go out to eat, I often order a sandwich. But for some reason, I hate making sandwiches at home. They never taste the same. I think it goes back to my childhood days when my parents would pack sandwiches for us to eat on road trips to Cleveland. Mine would inevitably end up on the bottom of the cooler, squished under a can of pop, and tasting faintly like a Ziploc bag. So whenever I think about making a sandwich at home, I think of that smushed, bag-tasting baloney sandwich, and I’m put off.
If you remember, when we first moved here I was obsessed with the Tesco meal deal, where I got a boxed sandwich, bag of chips (crisps), and drink for £2. But recently they jacked the price up to £2.50, and for some reason that really bothered me. The meal deal no longer seemed like the great deal I once thought it was, especially when I eat it at home and don’t really need the drink. So I got smart. Instead of buying the meal deal, I started buying just the sandwich for £1.40. I went to that unpronounceable grocery store Lidl and bought an 18-pack of my favorite bags of crisps for less than £3. That’s less than 16p a bag! Who needs a meal deal?
But then I was on a money-saving roll, and started thinking about the sandwich. Was a boxed sandwich consisting of just bread, ham and mustard-mayo really worth £1.40? So I decided to conquer my sandwich-making-at-home fear, and I bought a loaf of bread, thin-sliced ham, and mustard mayo. How could I go wrong?
Well… I bought the wrong kind of mustard mayo. I usually don’t like mustard, but anything tastes good when its mixed with mayonnaise. I looked on my favo[u]rite website, mysupermarket.co.uk, and saw Branston mayo with a twist of mustard and onion was on sale. Perfect! But then I got to the store and they didn’t have it. Instead of buying Hellmann’s mustard mayo, I had Branston and the sale on my mind, so I got Branston salad cream classic with a hint of Dijon mustard. I should have noted that it said “Great in egg sandwiches!” on the front, and not “Great in ham sandwiches!” Because, you know what, it’s not great in ham sandwiches. Instead of giving that perfect creamy mustard taste that balances out the sandwich, it makes the sandwich taste like vinegary egg salad, which didn’t help my homemade sandwich aversion. So now I’m stuck. Do I call it a loss and go back to buying £1.40 sandwiches? Or do I try Hellmann’s dijon mustard mayonnaise for £1.79? Or maybe I should boil some eggs and make an egg salad sandwich with my salad cream, or squeeze some salad cream into my mouth, swish a hard-boiled egg around, and have a mayonegg.