Excuse me, ma’am, but there’s a giant panda on your butt

11 Nov

“When you have an opportunity to include a panda in something,
a panda should be included.” -Seth Stevenson, Slate Magazine

This is not just my email signature, it’s my mantra. …Or at least it was until this morning. Up until now I’ve always included a panda when the opportunity presented itself, and when I saw an item of clothing in my size featuring a panda, I bought it. But this morning I was browsing an online store looking for new ankle boots (because nothing says “Thank you for your service, veterans!” like free shipping, no minimum), when I stumbled upon this skirt:

panda skirtI was torn. Here there was an opportunity to include a panda on something, and a panda was included. It was also 20% off plus free shipping. On the other hand, it would mean walking around with a giant panda — literally a GIANT panda — on my butt. I may have gone for it if it were a shirt — I own a giant pug face shirt, after all — but I don’t think I could handle giant panda puppy eyes staring into the soul of the person walking behind me. Plus, what shirt do you even wear that can compete with a giant panda face?

In short, there are many opportunities in life in which a panda can be included, but I’m not sure a skirt is one of them.

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