So it turns out, Ylvis, that the fox does not say “Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!” or “Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!” In real life the fox screams like a child being murdered outside your window at 2 a.m.
The first time I heard the strange noise a few weeks ago I was convinced it was the screams of a child in trouble. The second time I realized it was probably an animal of some sort. And then after last night’s ruckus I found myself googling “London animal screaming” this morning. The first result? “Foxes make really loud screaming noises like someone’s being murdered.”
And then I googled “foxes London” and this was the first result:
I can see it now: Coming in 2016 — English Sniper: The Most Lethal Fox Sniper in U.K. History.
In all seriousness, I’ve read about London’s fox problem, but since I’m not out and about at night too often, I haven’t experienced it first hand. But now I cannot unhear their screams. January is apparently the height of fox mating season, but thankfully, according to the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea’s website, “The problem of fox noise is seasonal and lasts for just a couple of weeks.” Please, please let that be true.