The time I lost my super power

8 Sep

So far I’ve gone through life thinking I have a magical super power. I thought I had magical DNA worthy of study that somehow made me resistant to a scourge that has plagued humanity for millennia. I laughed when I saw the products invented to ease the condition I was somehow immune to. I almost used it as my fun party trick fact: I can curl my tongue, crush a pop can between my shoulder blades and cut onions without crying.

Until today.

When I was back at my parents’ house in May, I was inspired to make caramelized onions. I wasted an hour of my life stirring onions on the stove-top, only to end up with charred onion crisps. But this week onions were one of Aldi’s Super 6 (1 kg for 39p!) and Stephen is traveling, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to consume copious amounts of onions and make my flat smell like a White Castle. (You’re welcome, neighbors). But this time I was going to do it the fool-proof way: in the slow cooker.

The recipe was easy: chop up onions, toss with melted butter, then set it and forget it (and stir it once or twice). Since I wanted to use the caramelized onions on my salad for dinner, I started chopping them right after breakfast so they could cook throughout the whole day. After I sliced the first one, I started to feel a burning in my eyes. This was unfamiliar. Was it allergies? Dust? Surely it wasn’t the onion, because I have a super power. By the fourth onion when tears were streaming down my burning eyes, I finally came to grips that my super power was no more. The pain was unreal. Even when I finished chopping the onions and they were on their way to caramelization, just walking into the kitchen made my eyes burn. Was the syn-propanethial-S-oxide airborne?!

The tears and burning eventually subsided and I was left wondering what happened. Why has an onion never affected me like this before? Was it because I usually cut onions at my parents’ house, where they’re often refrigerated and I’m wearing contacts, not my glasses? Are room-temperature cheapo Aldi onions particularly high in syn-propanethial-S-oxide in September? Is it because I rarely cut onions anymore? (Because I’m lazy and Stephen doesn’t like them, so I don’t often cook with them). And depending on how good these crockpot caramelized onions turn out, should I invest in these?

onion_goggles

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3 Responses to “The time I lost my super power”

  1. merideth September 16, 2015 at 6:40 pm #

    Hello…i am hoping to use an image from your april 2013 post about needing a vitamix. It would be for a personal blog unrelated to kitchen things but would be the main header (it’s about blended families). Would love to be able to credit and/or compensate. This is a perfect image for this project and i would love love love to use it but will hold off until i hear from you. You could preview and approve use or whatever you want! Please let me know when you get a chance! Thanks for your time, Merideth (mkzide@gmail.com)

    • reneedezvous September 17, 2015 at 4:16 am #

      Hello! Thank you for asking permission! You can use it, just please credit reneedezvous.wordpress.com. Thanks!

      • merideth September 27, 2015 at 3:49 pm #

        I am just seeing this now-thanks so much, I really appreciate it!

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