Ever since we moved into this flat almost three years ago, I’ve been wanting to redo the kitchen. Everything was outdated, there wasn’t enough storage space, and on the day we moved in there was literally a green onion in the oven and dog food on the floor. But the living room and bedroom took priority, but now it was finally time for the kitchen. I told Stephen I wanted to take charge of the project, which I think in my mind meant put everything away where I want it once the renovation was done, not handle getting quotes from builders and kitchen manufacturers, but I did. I did everything, and was determined for this project to go smoothly. We said we’d learn from the mistakes we made from renovating the living room while doing the bedroom, but we didn’t. So I was determined for the third time to be the proverbial charm and for one of our renovations to actually only take two weeks.
Things were off to a good start. After meeting with designers from various manufacturers, we decided on an IKEA kitchen. It was by far the cheapest, and from what most of the builders I talked to said, about the same quality as some of the more expensive brands. It all depended on the fitting, and for that I had found a respectable builder who came highly recommended. We ordered the kitchen before we went on holiday to Italy, and scheduled for it to be delivered on Tuesday, October 8. I scheduled Alex the builder to start on Monday, October 7, figuring it would take a day to demolish the kitchen. I also scheduled for the floor tiles to arrive on Monday, knowing I’d need the builders here to help me carry them upstairs.
We returned from a lovely holiday in Italy, I spent the weekend packing up the kitchen and we were all ready to go on Monday. But you know who else was ready to go that day? Extinction Rebellion, a radical protest group that decided the only way to get the government to act on climate change was to shut down all of Westminster for two weeks. Beginning — you guessed it — Monday, October 7, the first day of our kitchen renovation. The builders could take the Tube — we don’t have parking near us anyway — but I neglected to realize the impact shutting down the entire city would have on deliveries. Remember how people were going to storm Area 51, claiming “they can’t stop us all”? Well that was Extinction Rebellion’s tactics. Protesters greatly outnumbered police, so even though plenty of arrests were made, they could not stop the group from peacefully sitting in the streets, stopping all traffic.
On Monday the tile company called and said the driver couldn’t get to us, so we’d be on am delivery on Tuesday. Meanwhile, Alex’s colleague showed up and demolished our old kitchen in record timing.
On Tuesday I was awoken by a call from IKEA’s delivery company, saying they were 30 minutes away. I hurriedly cleared out the guest room so there would be room for all the boxes. And then 30 minutes passed. I called the driver and explained the situation about the roads. I texted him a map showing how he would have to travel in order to reach us. And then the delivery depot called me.
“We have to cancel your delivery,” they said.
“I was just talking to the driver, there’s a way to get here!” I told them.
“It will take too much time and we have other deliveries today. You’ll have to call IKEA to reschedule.” they said.
And just like that, my dream of getting my kitchen finished without a hitch vanished.
I was frustrated and exhausted, but I had to turn my focus to the floor tiles. I called the company every hour. They kept assuring me my tiles were on the truck and they were coming today, just not as quickly as originally promised. Meanwhile, after sitting on hold with IKEA for over 30 minutes, the soonest I could reschedule the kitchen delivery was for Monday, Oct. 14.
“Monday?!” Alex exclaimed with a frustrated groan over the phone when I had to break the news to him. I had just dashed his dreams of completing this project without a hitch too. He told me if the floor tiles didn’t arrive, there was no point in him coming the whole week since there was nothing for him to do.
“The tiles are coming, they keep telling me they’re on their way,” I assured him. But even I was losing hope. I spoke with the porters who said the building had only had a couple deliveries all day. Normally there were more than 20. Royal Mail couldn’t even get to us.
I wanted so badly to take a nap and forget everything, but I had to remain awake for the tiles. They could come any minute. But then I got a call.
“We’re so sorry, but our driver has just been turned away by the police and cannot deliver today,” the tile company said. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”
And with that I actually broke down and cried. Partly from sleep deprivation, partly from frustration and anxiety. The protest was supposed to last for two weeks. I could not afford to wait two weeks to work on the kitchen, especially right after we demolished it. There was no going back, and no way to cook or do laundry (yes, like most households in the UK, the washer/dryer is part of the kitchen). I couldn’t believe our bad timing.
I decided to take my mind off things for a bit and turned on the TV to watch some Netflix. And then my phone rang.
“Hello? I have a pallet delivery for you. I’m outside.”
I stuck my head out the window. It was my tiles! I almost cried again, out of joy this time. How had they managed to arrive?? I went downstairs to accept delivery, remembering one minor issue: it was a curbside delivery of 30 60cmx60cm, essentially 2 ft by 2 ft, porcelain tiles. And I was all by myself.
“Can I borrow the trolley?” I asked the porter.
“Are your builders not in?!” he asked. “Are you planning to carry all those tiles upstairs yourself?”
“Yes,” I told him. He offered to help. He lifted half of the tiles into the trolley, and I pushed it up the ramp and over to the lift. And then one by one I carried them by myself into the flat. I went back down to collect the rest of them, only to find it had gone from bright and sunny to pissing down rain. The tiles were packed in cardboard sleeves, which had all but disintegrated. I got soaked lifting the remaining tiles into the cart. But I did it, I brought them all upstairs, and Alex was able to get started on the floor the next day.
Stay tuned for part 2, in which IKEA attempts to deliver our kitchen a second time and I almost lose my mind again.
Reneedezvous 
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